I Remember Your Name
by Inali Grimalkin
Summary: Ash is sitting at a grave, regretting the biggest mistake of his life. He has to live with the choices he made, but some days he just can't live with himself. Rated M for a sensitive topic.


**This was written very spur of the moment, very late at night with less than four hours of sleep on my phone. It was un beta'd and hasn't even been read over. There are probably mistakes. Here it is guys, this is my writing at it's most raw form.  
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><p><em>I've got to live with the choices I've made<em>  
><em>And I can't live with myself today.<em>

Ash made his way to the small headstone that rested under a big oak tree in the furthest corner of the Pallet Town Cemetery.

He knelt before it and brushed the leaves away, then placed a bouquet of a dozen pink roses the marble stone.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered, brushing his fingers across the engraved name. "I just came to talk for a while," he told the empty air. "I wish you were here."

Ash rubbed away his tears, he'd give anything in the world to hold her in his arms.

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><p>He had started dreaming sometimes, imagining how things could have been. He knew he'd do it all differently if he'd had the chance, but all he had to give her now was roses on her birthday and it didn't come close to making amends for what he'd done.<p>

He remembered when he and Misty had met, she was so fiery and he grew to love that about her. They traveled far and wide and had so many adventures. They both had believed they'd be married by now, but he supposed death had a way of changing things.

They had been teenagers in love, sixteen and seventeen, working their way to their dreams. Had different choices been made he could see it now; they'd be at home, clustered around a birthday cake. Ash would have his daughter sitting on his lap, he imagined she'd have his hair, but Misty's eyes. And her smile, she'd have her mother's smile.

He could have been there when she gave birth and taught their daughter how to walk and they'd play with Pikachu together. He couldn't help but laugh, she'd be just as shock resistant as he was.

He'd have married her the second he turned eighteen, he would have moved to Cereulean City to help with the gym or maybe she would have moved to Pallet and run a school to prepare soon-to-be trainers.

But they had lives, dreams. They weren't ready for that. They weren't sure what to do and they were scared. Ash knew training to be a pokemon master didn't make a lot of money, and neither did Misty with her only getting a quarter of the gym's earnings.

They knew that they didn't have time either, after all he was always going on new journeys while she battled and trained. That was no way to start a new life and as a result, one ended.

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><p>Ash had never wanted anything so bad in his entire life. There was so much he was never going to do now.<p>

So he came to the grave site every year and imagined all the things they could've had.

They'd walk hand in hand with their baby girl and watch her grow up and have a life filled with dreams of her own.

He'd see her in another life and he'd hold her tight, never let her go. They'd teach each other so many things, make each other laugh and smile.

It wasn't fair that she'd had her life stolen from her, a story that had just barely begun. Not a thing in this world could ever take her place. He'd thought he could move on and forget about it, that it didn't matter. But he was wrong, it did matter and he couldn't just forget about her.

He wanted to walk down the aisle with her. He wanted to be driving a mini van with his baby girl asleep in the back seat. He wanted to not have said good bye in a waiting room with old magazines, his eyes glued on the floor listening to the TV entertain itself.

"I love you, Amy," Ash choked out, still feeling guilt and regret that still hadn't gone away. At the time they felt like it had been the right choice. They weren't ready. Misty first brought up the idea and they spent a solid week talking about it. They decided together that it was for the best and Ash went with her to the appointment.

For a while they felt better, they didn't have to worry and they could have children later, when they were truly ready. They thought they would be able to go on with their lives, but they just couldn't. After that though they started feeling really down and they didn't know why. The young couple saw a counselor and talked for the first time about what had happened.

The counselor advised them to not treat what happened like a procedure they had, had, but to treat it like the death of their child. They decided to go with it, feeling like it might give them a sense of closure about what happened. Misty said she had a feeling they would've had a girl, so they decided to name her Amy.

"You'd be six years old today."

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><p><strong>This story was inspired by an AMAZING amv I saw for the Song 'Lucy', buy Skillet. It's actually the only video to the song (that I've seen) that didn't make it a love story, and showed it for what the song was really about. If you want, let me know in the reviews and I'll send you a reply with a link to the video so you can see for yourselves.<br>**

**This story has nothing to do with my personal beliefs on abortion which is why I won't say what they are. Please don't consider this as anything political, it's just a story.  
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**So, how many of you knew what this story was about before you reached the end?**


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